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“Fake it till you make it ” . That has been the most redundant tip to unlock confidence that we have all been fed. I’m not going to lie, that can help you garner some sort of outward confidence, and maybe some inward confidence- which is awesome!

But, the confidence that Im referring to, is the kind of confidence that doesn’t waiver. The kind of confidence that has to be earned. This was the kind of confidence that I knew couldn’t and wouldn’t be taken from me by anyone or anything. I wanted uber confidence.

What is confidence?

According to google,

Confidence is : the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.

So , this lets us know that true confidence isn’t something you can even fake. you either rely on a thing or you don’t. you either trust in a thing or you don’t. You either got it or you don’t.

It also highlights that confidence is all about having trust , which is faith .

Now, what exactly is faith you may wonder? :

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen

Hebrews 11:1

Faith : complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

So now that we are aware that confidence is all about having faith we must then ask ourselves , ” where does faith come from ?”

“Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ“

Romans 10:17

Based on The Word of God, the words of our creator, hes letting us know that in order to activate this kind of confidence we need to hear/read HIS word – repetitively !

I hope some light bulbs went off in your head , because a couple just did in my mind.

Being confident or having faith /trust in the being that made you gives you the tenacity to have confidence in yourself. So, what i’m trying to say essentially here is that, being truly confident in yourself is all about having complete confidence in the creator of confidence, because he can’t lie. That’s something you can rely on.

Now , if that isn’t the type of confidence you’re looking for , I also have the steps to attain the superficial kind.

(btw having confidence in God plus doing these next steps will make you unstoppable and unrecognizable- to yourself)

Date yourself!

The idea of dating yourself has become very popular along with the self care movement. Caring for yourself in the perspective of dating yourself can help most understand how to properly do it.

What dating yourself looks like:

Dating yourself can look like many things, but generally it looks like dedicating all of your resources into taking care of yourself. Make yourself feel loved by connecting with yourself on a deeper level & build a healthy relationship with yourself – whatever that looks like for you. 

Literally just spend time with yourself. Love yourself in your love language. Don’t know what your love language is? Now’s the time to figure that out. Where do you like to go? Go there often – alone ! Everything you do in a relationship , do that with yourself. If when you are in a relationship with someone, you find yourself eating out and going out a lot, do that by yourself. If when you are in a relationship you are always blowing up your partners phone, you now need to go get a journal and write , often. If when you are in a relationship you have sexual intimacy, preserve that energy now and transmute that into purposeful work .

When you get in the habit of being dependent on others to accompany you all the time, you are then cheating on yourself in a sense. That’s you indirectly telling yourself that you are not enough, not even for you. End all of your co-dependent relationships – your side pieces- & be LOYAL and commit to yourself .

Get intimate

Develop an intimate relationship with yourself. One of the ways I started doing this was, I began getting naked when I could and started doing meditative activities . Again this may not be what that means for you, but find your love language.

Create a health plan !

One of the highest ways you can show yourself self respect is by not only creating a health plan, but by sticking to it. As we already know, society has created a system that is opposed to healthy living. Because of that, i know that it can be challenging to reprogram your mind into developing a healthy lifestyle. Believe me , you ,it’s definitely worth it in the end.

If you aren’t currently active, don’t set yourself up for failure and do too much too soon. just create little habits and keep them once they stick. A year or less from now , you won’t be living the same.

Challenge and push yourself !

We are designed to constantly evolve and grow . If we don’t we can become depressed.

Where there is no vision, the people perish

Proverbs 29:18

If you are not aiming toward something, greater than us , well what exactly are you doing?! When you push your limits and try to reach new heights , you create mental toughness. You also will build confidence in yourself to overcome challenges of many kind .